Narcissist - The Supervillain Bully

Hey, why don't you have a cup of coffee, or maybe some water and Mio, but spend a few minutes with me to have a serious chat.

I don't care who you are, where you are in life, or how you try to live; I just know that eventually, you will run into a narcissist. I prefer to think of them as ITs. James Bond fights the ITs. They are supervillains who want to rule the world. Their egos are so massive that they sometimes threaten to send out missiles to destroy every man, woman, and child if they don't get their way. Like James Bond, we have to face our supervillains too. Unlike James Bond, we have to deal with them differently.

We may have run into IT while a student in school, or an employee on the job. We may have looked differently or acted differently or said something that may have inadvertently brushed against an ego so enormous yet incredibly fragile that IT immediately felt compelled to crush our dreams or spirits. Understand this, we aren’t human to them. We are insignificant to them. We are like some type of appendage that has to be removed.

As a writer, it is easy to create villains. I can give my characters fangs, or have them cloaked in shadows and make them sexually irresistible, but in the real world there’s nothing alluring about narcissists. Scratch beneath that glamorous surface and you find ugliness and a bloated ego.

I know that it’s hard to face the villain in school or in the office when IT has power over you, when IT flaunts her power over you and try to nibble at your self-esteem.  Remember, essentially IT doesn’t see you as real or significant. When you inadvertently challenged her (you could've asked a question or disagreed with a decision), you challenged her authority -- her ego. After that, IT has one thing in mind and that is to crush you. IT can destroy quietly, while smiling in your face, and you never see the carnage coming. IT may have the ear of those in higher positions, but you don't. So it doesn't matter if you’re an A student or an outstanding employee. By the time IT has finished trashing your character with her near superhuman ability to persuade others, you will be transformed into a liar, cheater or someone incapable of integrity and determination.

WE all know an IT. We may have once liked an IT or believed in IT...until we stumbled into his crosshairs.

What should you do? This is just my blog and my advice is not scientific, but I think it is a good one. Get out of that situation. Immediately. We're not James Bond with gadgets or "M" to help us foil the bad gal. We're just someone who is trying to do a good job, who may have children or mortgages. Or we may be students in school who just want the bullying to stop. 

Pay attention to me, please. Do not engage an IT in open warfare. Get out of the situation. Yes, IT is just that good at a craft she probably honed shortly after exiting the womb. IT knows and plays people and don't forget that you may have been fooled by her too.  So I suggest you secretly plan your exit strategy. Take evening classes, volunteer for the experience, network, and convince your parents that another school environment would help you improve your grades -- yes, I am saying toss in that fluffy towel and get the hell out of Dodge.  Move on. Believe me, IT will find another victim.